The Guyclopedia

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Welcome to the esoterum

The esoterum is maintained by the incapable hands of an eclectic group of idiot savants, who were given a quest to achieve the ludicrous, to pick up where others rightfully quit, to provide unwanted and un-insightful social commentary, to humor the un-humorable, to launch investigations on foibles and their not so perfect cousins, and to use the name Dick Beavers whenever possible.

The esoterum was established under a secret bargaining agreement between two high-powered executives, whose chance meeting is considered to be such unbelievable kismet that it has been forever enshrined in the fabled book: Unlikely Coincidences. We, the content providers for the esoterum, are not allowed to mention these executive's names, but one came to power quickly, was ousted in a bloody coup de tat, and eventually found solace and peace writing technical manuals for reverse polish notation calculators. The other executive? He still sits atop his throne of a powerful, industry leading dust collection equipment manufacturing collective.

On that fateful day, the high powered executives agreed to create a free-form medium through which people with access to the Information Super-Highway (as it was known back then) could express their ideas to help their fellow humans and save the world through the harmonious union of creativity and action. However, due to logistical problems and a flight to Akron, this idea never left the Red Carpet Club of Chicago's O’Hare Airport. For years this (Dick Beavers) concept found no home but the esoterum strives to live up some greater purpose created by two executive jerk-offs in a far, far away land called Illinois.

-Management

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