T-Shirts

From esoterum.org
Jump to: navigation, search

The shirts

Quinceanera, June 2, 2006

An illustrated timeline.
Spare Tire voices his approval.

-My intent for the date of the apocalypse was to represent the year of Flanagan’s death. Unfortunately I don't really know what year that is because I don't remember how old Flanagan is supposed to be, and I can't count. (April 15, 2035)

-The events listed are the extremely select ones which I chose from Flanagan's initial timeline. I feel like additional events should be debated, but it must be kept in mind that only a very small number will fit on the image before it starts to look stupid. I would think that at most 2 more could be added, but 4 is not too few.

-She is sinister facing as this causes the cigarette-timeline to read from left to right as is done in English speaking countries. She can face either way, but my vote is Left. Believe it or not, there is no difference in the image either way.

-In my opinion, the genesis date should reflect the moment of Louis' and Hicklin's meeting. This only because I assume Hicklin was the last to meet Lou, and we as an entity could not have existed until we all knew one another. It must have been in 1991 as Lou has suggested.

-In case it isn't obvious, the cigarette ember represents the present, the fiery exuberance of life, the ash represents the broken and forgotten past, and the unburned portion of the cigarette represents the dry paper encased tobaccoey future. Obviously the filter represents Flangan's late cat Meow or Clay’s penis, the girl represents Hicklin punching women whom he likes, and the stream of smoke represents the glory of Mexico.

-At Louis’ recommendation, the cigarette butt reads in Spanish “the guys of San Marcos”. This according to some regional use of the Spanish word tipos, literally meaning “types” and looking like “tips” to some.

-The molar can probably be darkened or removed if necessary. I kind of enjoy it myself. Molar…

-Variations on a Theme

Useless Superpowers, July 2005

Gentlemen of the cause.

USELESS SUPERPOWER #4: ABILITY TO BREATHE MAYONNAISE

USELESS SUPERPOWER #19: EXTRAORDINARILY LONG INNER-EAR FOR SUPER-SLOW HEARING

USELESS SUPERPOWER #26: INTERCHANGEABLE ARMS AND LEGS

USELESS SUPERPOWER #30: DETERGENTY SWEAT THAT KEEPS CLOTHES SMELLING FRESH

USELESS SUPERPOWER #57: ABILITY TO SWIM IN GRANITE

USELESS SUPERPOWER #91: THE ABILITY TO CONJURE BALSA WOOD AT WILL

USELESS SUPERPOWER #314: EVERYTHING SMELLS LIKE BUTTER


The shirt that never was, August, 2001

Follow this link to learn more...so much more.

The shirt, had it been, that you would be wearing at this very moment, where you sit, wondering about the greatest event that sort of was.

Thunderica, May 31 - June 7, 1997

Imagine a Pig...Thunderica thumbnail.jpg


Clay's Farewell-Hello-Farewell-Hello-Farewell June, 1993

Die Belastungmannschaft

Tommygate

Other Shirt Ideas

Dupa tshirt.JPG Herniated anus tshirt.JPG Mr cabdriver tshirt.JPG Army of 4 shirt.JPG Colonial historian shirt.JPG

Further background

Section I. Article 1.

1. Event shirts should be designed in such a manner as to be reasonably presentable in the presence of any member's parents except in the event that a member's parents are undesirably prudish.

2. Designs should be kept as simple as physically possible due to the costliness of complex designs and the fact that clever simplicity is much more humorous. Only in exceptional cases where the complexity itself is intended as the source of humor should such designs be implemented.

3. Both uniformity of design and universal acceptance of the design within the group are essential.

4. The shirt designs should by nature have little or no meaning to people outside of the organization. Furthermore, they should be very difficult to explain to those individuals who care to ask.

5. Where possible, there should be one inconspicuous theme or item that appears on every shirt in the series causing them to be subversively yet provably linked to each other.

6. Approved and debated themes:

a. THUNDERICA
b. NALFP
(1) The design informally approved as the "frontal" (ref. attachment) requires simplification. The title should be shortened in a universally agreeable manner to something shorter within the current theme.
(2) The addition "Epochal NALFP Conference..." is intended as a breast label in the event that the rest of the image were placed on the back of the shirt. The current layout requires simple modifications to shrink and/or move the addition.
(3) "Fluke Care" drinking list on the back of the shirt proposal:
(a) There should, at the top, be a simple statement to the effect of the intended curative/preservative nature of the list of beverages.
(b) Though a common theme among the beverages is important, they should not all (though some might) be blatantly fluke related. Most important is inherent humorous characteristics of the name and the description.
(c) The descriptions, format, and layout should be simple and analogous to what one might find on the drink list in a "hip" bar.
(d) The congruent theme being "'hip' bar drink list," various prices and warnings might also be appropriate.

7. Someone must be placed in charge of final design submission and procurement of the shirts.

8. Price limits might be important for discussion, and we as members shall not have the right to withhold appropriate compensation to the shirt-charge regardless of satisfaction with the final product or forgetfulness.